Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
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