I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
Randomize
