I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
Sorry about my sloppy drunk texts. I'm not sure talking about banging a near dead Jimmy Stewart was my finest moment
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
Randomize
