Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
Heybabeimwearingurpanties
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
my poor anus
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
Randomize
