You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
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