Where did you get a picture of my penis
You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
Randomize
