Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
Randomize
