At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
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