needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
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