I'm laying in your front yard are you home
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
Randomize
