I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
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