I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
