What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
It all started with a game of naked twister.
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
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