Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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