whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
Randomize
