after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
We were drunk at 3am with no food. I sent him to the lobby with ninety cents for like a bag of chips and I swear on my life he came back with a meatball sub
...did you ask him where he got a meatball sub at 3:00am?
He just kept mumbling something about being a hunter/gatherer
Oh AND he got us two bags of chips.
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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