ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
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