what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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