That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
Randomize
