That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
I want to walk on stilts...naked
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Randomize
