Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
Randomize
