So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
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