I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
Randomize
