you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize
