YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
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