Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
Randomize
