your thong is hanging out like whoa
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
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