His uber religious wife caught us having anal sex in their bed..... she called us sodomites. Can you even be a sodomite if you're a girl?
You're not a sodomite. You're a whore. Tell her to get the insults right. Did she try to save you with Jesus?
She said she'd pray for me. Man, if I had just caught my husband balls deep in some ho, I'd say fuck the praying and kick her ass.
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
Randomize