Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
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