yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
I'm texring you during a blow job. She thinks I'm looking shit up. Fml. Ftw.
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
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