even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
Randomize
