we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
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