You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
Randomize
