thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
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