Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
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