Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
