Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Randomize
