I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
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