I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
I just told a squirrel he was gonna suffocate because he was eating a plastic bag. and i stared at him till he spit it out. Its official, I love squirrels more than people. they actually listen.
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
Randomize
