so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
