dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
I just noped my wife on Tinder. Turns out I was the second one to find out that we both have it.
Randomize