We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
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