from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
Randomize
