Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
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