i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
Randomize
