No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
Small penises have feelings too.
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
Randomize
