I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
Randomize
