my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
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