i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
Randomize
