So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
sex in a hospital.. check
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
My orgasm happened in two different decades
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
Randomize
