He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
Randomize
