In the future we'll all be gay
Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
Randomize
