Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
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