i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
Randomize
