I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
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