his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Randomize
