Dual....:-)
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
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