the new term for farting is butt boxing.
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
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