marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
i haven't been laid since the bush administration. it's frustrating.
Some advice for success: 1) Go ugly early, it saves you time and money; 2) If you can't pork a princess, pound a pig for practice; and 3) Beauty is only a light switch away.
ur like the dr phil of bizarro world.
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
