her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
Sorry my hands just texted you
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
My vagina is officially offended.
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
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