he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
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