glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
Randomize
