Dude, I was completely sober last night, didn't puke on my shoes, went home with an incredibly beautiful girl, wore a condom, and didn't wake up in a puddle of urine this morning.
hah, sarcasm, classic
There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
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