Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
Randomize
