Omfg I am plowed. Had drinks with 3 milfs. Going out on their boat tomorrow. They want to show me how buoyant they are.
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
Of course I have a pirate flag
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
Randomize
