question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
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